film @ Cross The Line: my first feature film script

snow_white_and_the_apple_ii_by_thundereq-d1bhy00I don’t know what drives others to write, but I write because I am addicted to competition, to crazy top notch races and crisis happenings; because I love challenges and I like to excel at things I’ve never been good at or I’ve never tried. 

It’s not as if I have a passion for writing, but a passion for life, human nature, people and work – for exploring myself and life at its maximum of potential. So I am very far from being a writer. My Literature skills suck so much that I can not even read myself. The best I can write are short stories and film scripts and somehow completely twisted I do a pretty good job on these ones…at times. Though, I wish life to give some space so I can learn and practice more to master my skills in order to download my visions with the highest possible fidelity.

Cross the Line” is the first feature film that I wrote in a foreign language (English) and submitted it in the BlueCat Screenplay Competition in November 2013. Overall, I am a debutant. My portfolio in this area is small: 2 short films, 1 docu-drama, and 1 feature in Romanian that I need to rewrite. No. That’s not true. The biggest part of my portfolio is on my head and recently I’ve done a list with all the films I have to write in the next 2 years, in parallel I also note down dialogues, scenes flashes and ideas and make also research for a comedy noir. Related to film industry, I also took part in one feature film production where I did the locations (Charlie Countryman) and one Adventure TV Show production – where I did the production management (Destination Truth), and also been a crisis operations consultant at Media Pro Studios - film production studios.

Coming back to Cross the Line – it took me 3 weeks to do it, 3 extremely intensive weeks after which I experienced pain all over my body and couldn’t get up from the floor  for a week – floor where I use to sleep on a thin mattress. This happened because I spotted the opportunity “too late” to engage in this ride, so the time was very short and as a result I was so focused that I totally forgot to drink water, sleep and eat.

If it wasn’t to be listed on the winners list at a national short-story contest which ended up with me being a published author in a collective book of stories, I would have never finished the script because I was in a low state of spirit and had a moment of loosing my motivation. But that winning short-story boosted my spirit and pushed me forward.

Now the results of this uniquely great screenplay contest will start flowing from February 1st until April 10th (10% shortlist, quarter finalists, semifinalists, finalists and No 1 Winner) and imagine the painful agony of waiting. I am biting the walls already, listen tones of music and give people I’m mad about (but don’t know in person) thousands of likes to their posts. Yeah, I know…”too much” is my middle name. 

blue cat

Now, here is a sneak peek from the read analysis that the jury delivered as part of the competition deal. For a non-writing debutante and taking into account the international dimension of this competition, it gives me hopes. Of course, like any other 1st time thing it can be improved and uplifted, but for start I think that V1 has a lot of potential and appealing twists and turns. I hope  and pray for producers and judges to feel the same and grab the damn thing.

Reader 1 – STRENGTHS OF THE SCREENPLAY:

  • Opening Scene

Great opening scene – introducing Adam’s obsession with Claudia’s image. It instantly grabs the audience’s attention and makes them wonder what is going on, what happens next, and how it will connect with the overall screenplay.

  • Descriptions

In general the descriptions are very clear have precise detail for all scenes. This helps gives the audience a vivid picture of what is happening in the story and additional details about the characters. The methods used are very smooth and organically integrated into the story telling.

  • Title tie-in

It is interesting to see the title tied into the screenplay through the name of a sexy lingerie catalogue. Also, the theme was well incorporated throughout the screenplay in general.

Reader 2 – WHAT I LIKE:

There’s a great deal of potential in the “obsession triangle” that you set up on page 24 when Markus starts developing his own sexual obsession with Claudia. I like the idea you work with where the three characters are inadvertently feeding each other’s obsessions through Markus’ cyber-stalking.

It’s especially interesting for Markus, as he develops a fixation not just with Claudia but with Adam as well. His attraction to Claudia has a vaguely masochistic vibe to it, as every video he shows her builds her own infatuation with another man. I would love to see this dynamic extended and expanded on because it presents an incredibly complex set of emotions for each character and carries with it a great deal of ingrained tension for the reader.

Adam as a character takes a compelling shift on pages 19-21 when Claudia views him having an imagined conversation with her through one of Markus’ videos. Prior to this I perceived him as a lonely individual who was unfortunately developing a somewhat unhealthy passion for a mystery woman.

This one-sided conversation, however, portrays him as a much more complex animal with some fairly deviant sexual urges hiding beneath the surface. It implies that perhaps he and Markus aren’t quite as different from one another as the reader is initially led to assume. While this distances the reader from Adam somewhat, the distance allows us to split our focus onto Markus and Claudia and further establishes the triangle dynamic I mentioned earlier.

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